Sail Away

I remember laying there

Looking at this picture on the wall

There were two or three

But this one, my focus had it all

It had a beautifully painted sunset

That easily flowed into a shore line

And in the middle of that dream scenery

There was a sail boat

And I found myself focusing on that picture

Wanting to be there

And it didn’t matter where it was

It was somewhere

Just Not there

I wanted to be somewhere so far

That the scene where I was wouldn’t even be large enough to paint a picture of

I tried to etch that into my mind

I tried to float away in time

But then I felt what was mine being sucked from me

And it took my breath away

So I grabbed at the hand that held mine

As I contracted on the inside

And tried to sit up

But was told to

lay down there on your back and try to relax

it was soon over

And I took one more glimpse at that room

And I took one more glance at the sail boat

Wanting that to be my mental picture

Wanting to pretend that’s where I spent my afternoon

Wanting to think nothing of that room

And I wanted to think nothing of that day

I wanted to be on that boat sailing away

Or better yet I wanted to go home and sleep it all away

But as I left they said, that I needed to stay awake

No don’t go home and lay in bed

“Even though that’s what you want” they said

You keep your head up instead

And of course I did what I was told

I went home and stayed awake

And I can remember that stupid picture on the wall

But I cant even remember if I cried at all

I became this hollow little shell

I sank into this empty little hell

Where nothing you could do from there on out

Would hurt me or effect me I was hardened

I was numb

Emotionless, I just moved on

Not dealing with what had taken place

Not even thinking of whether I had made a mistake

I went about life like nothing ever happened

I would hear preachers talk about forgiveness

But What for?

You could call me what you want but I didn’t identify

With that word abort

Only traces of things were left in my memory

Like when the dr confirmed what I was afraid of

And he told me how far along I was

That’s the only fact I knew about you

And then I remember reading this little sheet